Difference between revisions of "Unfermented Fruit Beer"
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[[File:Most hyped beer in the world.jpg|thumbnail|250px|right|Obligatory ridiculous glassware must accompany "heavily" fruited sours.]] | [[File:Most hyped beer in the world.jpg|thumbnail|250px|right|Obligatory ridiculous glassware must accompany "heavily" fruited sours.]] | ||
| − | Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia): | + | Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Pastry Sour", "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", "Sploojie", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia): |
# Buy some fruit puree. | # Buy some fruit puree. | ||
| − | # Package it with whatever beer you want. | + | # Package it with whatever beer or seltzer you want. |
# Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever). | # Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever). | ||
# Carbonate it light to reduce gushing. | # Carbonate it light to reduce gushing. | ||
| − | # If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least add some potassium sorbate and hope for the best. | + | # If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least add some potassium sorbate and metabisulfite (remember not to inform your customers that this thing contains sulfites until the TTB/FDA force you to do so) and hope for the best. |
Video instructions for making these at home (no homebrewing required): | Video instructions for making these at home (no homebrewing required): | ||
Latest revision as of 15:32, 16 December 2022
Steps to make Unfermented Fruit Beer (also known as "Pastry Sour", "Slushie", "Smoothie", "Slurpy", "Popsicle", "Sploojie", etc. by marketing teams that know how to appeal to childhood nostalgia):
- Buy some fruit puree.
- Package it with whatever beer or seltzer you want.
- Add some dissolved sugar/vanilla/lactose (or whatever).
- Carbonate it light to reduce gushing.
- If selling to go, instead of expecting customers to "keep it cold", use the easy money to take some responsibility and buy a damn pasteurizer. Or at least add some potassium sorbate and metabisulfite (remember not to inform your customers that this thing contains sulfites until the TTB/FDA force you to do so) and hope for the best.
Video instructions for making these at home (no homebrewing required):
Noteworthy resources: